Somatic Experiencing
Developing Safety and Connection
When we experience trauma or overwhelm, the nervous system acts with survival energy to protect us. That protection strategy helps us in the immediate situation, and then most times, the nervous system restores itself. Sometimes, if those self-protective responses are interrupted or incomplete, we can develop reactions to current stressors that are out of proportion. The nervous system now has a go-to pattern when there is general stress or some specific stimulation (a ‘trigger’). This pattern may be experienced as hyper-arousal (anxiety, too much fight or flight energy) or hypo-arousal (depression, dissociation or freeze energy).
With slow and careful exploration, SE allows us to bring curiosity to how the body and brain got stuck in these unhelpful responses. Experiential processing helps you to safely move through the ‘stuck’ self-protection responses that want to be completed.
This provides opportunities for those neural pathways to be diminished and replaced by more flexible and appropriate responses. We begin with less difficult memories or experiences and build your capacity to work with more challenging content. Together, we practice tracking how your nervous system moves into high activation or slips into disconnection.
Healing is facilitated by co-regulation as my nervous system supports yours to get better at finding its way back to more safety. The relationship IS the therapy. Somatic skills can bring more regulation to our emotions and sensations, restore relationship with ourselves and others, and help us feel more present, whole and integrated.
Phases of Work
Safety First
1
Step
Bring stability to your nervous system.
We first look for ways to bring relief and hope. We build reliable tools to help bring more energy when you feel depleted and stuck, and more relaxation when you feel anxious. Reliability requires practicing them regularly on a preventive basis, so they are accessible when things get a bit too much. I’ll offer some teaching about the impacts of overwhelm on the nervous system, and how healing happens through a polyvagal therapy approach.
2
Step
Safely work through your pain points.
We can’t truly do this if you are unsafe in your current situation. This can be tricky, because some forms of trauma, like racialized violence, are societal – and the last thing I want to ‘help’ you do is diminish appropriate self-protective responses. However, if actual safety is present, then we can work on addressing the impacts of past experiences by ‘going there’ in small steps, to help you move through the big response that arrives when that memory comes to mind. Over time, the incomplete responses can get some completion in a safe, supported way, and the impulse in the system is diminished. When this happens, things will begin to look and feel different!
3
Step
Make do-able plans for new ways of being.
The clearing of some of those unhelpful patterns creates space to look at goals for how you want to feel and things you want to do.
In some situations, supportive touch work can be helpful to increase awareness and regulation. SE touch work can be done seated or on a massage table. You are fully clothed, and touch is always negotiated with consent.